It has come to my attention that I have accidentally titled my previous articles as “parlays” of the day instead of teasers. While changing the title will undoubtedly end my good luck, it is imperative that I stick to the facts.
I’m making NBA 7 point teasers, not parlays. Having said that, whatever I’m making right now is turning into pure gold.
Since beginning this little experiment, I’ve hit 5 teasers in a row. That’s 15 unrelated outcomes in a row! Consider a 72-74% free throw shooter making 15 freebies in a row to put it in perspective.
In an industry like this, one’s luck can turn in the blink of an eye. I’m certainly cognizant of this reality.
While tonight’s slew of games looks a bit menacing, it’s my job to sort through the rift-raft and find the little morsel of gold amongst the heaping pile of shit.
Let’s pick some winners.
Milwaukee Bucks at Detroit Pistons (-7): Until I get burned on a good number of these supposedly “rugged” back-to-backs, I’m pouncing on these salacious spreads. Bucks Head Coach Larry Drew has meticulously tried to tinker with his rotations and nothing is working. While the Pistons have no outside shooting, the likes of Greg Monroe, Josh Smith and my man Andre Drummond will feast down low. With Larry Sanders on the shelf, it’s hard to fear deer like Zaza Pachulia and Ekpe Udoh. I’m slashing the 7 spot from the line and taking the Pistons straight up in Motown.
This is where it gets tricky..
Chicago Bulls (-4.5) at Utah Jazz: This is the type of wager that gets people shaking their heads. How could this idiot risk a dime on a demoralized Bulls team that just got their asses spanked in Lob City? This is exactly why “idiots” like Warren Buffett make money. Buy low, sell high. While beating Utah is certainly no impressive accolade, I’m still going to cash in on the Bulls’ 13 point victory in Salt Lake City this evening. Tonight will be a breeze, Bulls fans. Rest easy because Captain Kirk’s got your back. Adding 7 to the line to make it Bulls +3.5 in the land of the many wives.
Phoenix Suns at Miami Heat (-11.5): I’m going to preface this bit of analysis by saying I don’t love this pick. I like it better than the remaining options. Coming off a nail biter against the Magic earlier this week, I think LeBron James makes a mockery of the Suns on Monday. The Suns, a run-and-gun team, played a whale of a ballgame in Orlando on Sunday. While I usually don’t like betting against hot hands, the Heat have at least one, good half of basketball in them tonight. I just hope Phoenix already flew back home..All laughs aside, I’m slashing the line from -11.5 to -4.5 and signing my soul to the devil.
Stavi’s Teaser Record: 5-0 (15-0 in picking games)
RECAP: DET -0 CHI +3.5 MIA -4.5